Many times in your life you will meet mean or rude people that you
dislike, but you'll still have to pretend to like them anyway. This
article will teach you all about how to politely deal with rude
individuals whose company you couldn't care less for.
Approach the situation with a rude person calmly by attempting to understand their perspective first. Note that just because you may understand another person's motivations, it does not mean that their behavior is justified.
- People who are rude a couple of times and seem to be acting out of
character may be upset at something else in their life, and simply
taking their frustration out on you for no reason. Although that
individual should know better than to let their emotions get the best of
them, we all have our moments of irrationality. It's a very human
quality.
- This most commonly occurs with strangers, who don't expect to see
you again and probably don't care about what you think of them. They
don't bother to consider your feelings, especially if they're already
emotionally bogged down by something else in their lives.
- Other times, you'll get into situations (e.g., at work or school) in
which people are persistently rude to you. They may have some prejudice
about your gender, race, occupation, etc. or may be judging you for
something else that you've done. These people are usually obstinate in
their views, however false they may be, and there is little point in
trying to disprove their biases.
When the person in question
does something rude or offensive to you, politely but firmly call them
out on their inappropriate behavior. Look at the them in the eye and ask them to please stop provoking you.
- Good phrases to use are: "Please stop, I don't appreciate your
behavior" or "There's no need for such aggressiveness/rudeness/insulting
comments/etc here."
- Try to be calm and collected. Don't be aggressive or lose your
temper, as that will only escalate the situation. Don't try to refute
what the person said or engage in their conversation -- recognize that
they're crazy and all you're trying to do is to limit their annoying
behavior towards you.
- Don't engage them in any sort of fight or argument, physical or
otherwise. That will also only worsen the situation, and the last thing
you need is an arrest warrant for assault and battery. Remember that you
don't need to prove yourself to them.
If you think that the
rudeness is based on a resolvable misunderstanding, you can extend the
confrontation by asking them why they are behaving this way. If they
give a rational response that you can address, go for it. If you can
resolve the tension, that's the best possible scenario. At the same
time, you may just unleash a flurry of angry nonsense that fails to
justify their actions. At that point, recognize you've done all you can
and proceed with the next step.
- Some people genuinely don't realize they're being rude. They may not
have learned certain social skills. In case you have encountered
someone like this, you may want to politely inform that they have been
rude. You'll generally get an apology straight away. If not, it may just
take patience or avoidance.
Limit contact with this rude person as much as possible.
If it's not inconvenient for you to switch offices or make some other
change to avoid running into this person, take that step. You shouldn't
let one person dictate your life or make huge sacrifices for them, but
it will definitely help to not have them in your presence. Out of sight,
out of mind.
Limit the people with whom you share these confrontations with to your closest friends.
You don't want to tell any mutual friends or anyone who may disclose
what you've said about them to the rude person. You may even
accidentally offend someone who is friends with the rude person. No one
likes knowing that they are being spoken about behind their back, and
your gossiping would only give them a legitimate reason to act rude
towards you in person as well as retaliate with gossip of their own. Do
not create more fuel to worsen the situation.
- Even when you talk about the situation to your friends, avoid
exaggerating past the actual circumstances to turn the rude person into
an evil caricature. You are understandably upset about the situation,
but that also doesn't justify saying things that are untrue and
potentially damaging to a person, and mean-spirited words like that can
end up causing more unintentional harm in the future.
- Instead, describe what happened, what rude action(s) the person said
to you, and your reactions to them. Let your friends chime in with
their reactions. Talk about the situation for emotional catharsis -- you
want to let such an emotionally strenuous event off your back -- but
then move on to something else.
Don't over think the situation. After you've
confronted someone about their behavior and things haven't improved, you
need to draw a line to accept that you've done as much as you possibly
could to improve relations with them. There's no more thought that you
need to give to the situation. Don't over analyze your behavior or
theirs, your history of interactions, etc. Move on with your life and
restore your sanity by banishing this rude person from your thoughts.
Someone who is so hurtful towards you does not deserve any more of your
energy.
